Kindly request not to assume that your assumptions are true

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.”
~ Albert Schweitzer

We all have experienced it once or twice or maybe even more often; you go to the store or a restaurant and the employee, who supposed to be kind and friendly, treats you like you’re an annoying person interrupting her at whatever she’s doing except working.

Well, it happened to me while I was at the cinema a few weeks back. Me and my daughter planned a day out as she had a day off from school. We left home cheerfully, looking forward to have some good time watching a movie and shopping. Once we arrived at the cinema and I ordered tickets at the ticket office, everything changed!

We arrived at the cinema just past noon. We wanted to catch an early show, so we could spend the afternoon shopping. The girl at the desk saw us coming in, but didn’t greet us. She didn’t even bothered to look at us. I just ordered my tickets, she printed them out and shoved it to me over the counter. She watched me swipe my card to pay and turned away. Not even a ” Goodbye!” or “Have a nice day!”. My daughter looked at me and shrugged. I couldn’t help to say something about it.

I felt quite offended at that moment. Maybe it was because I wanted so much for my daughter to have a good time. She just started at the secondary school and worked so hard the past few weeks to gain good results at school. I wanted to reward her and show her that I’m really proud of her. And besides, I just assumed the girl at the ticket office was just pissed to work and early shift.

So, I made a comment. I said that I find her very rude and that I don’t think her boss would appreciate her treating customers like that. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything….

The girl fell out at me. She told me to mind my own business and that she is very capable of doing her job. I should just go in and watch the movie. Wow! My daughter and I, our jaws dropped wide open. We looked at each other and we were speechless. My daughter dragged me away and told me to let it go. But the more I thought of it, the more I felt the need to talk to someone about it. I decided to talk to the manager. Of course my teenage daughter warned me not to make a scene of it. But she did agree with me that the girl was very rude.

I found the manager, told him what happened and he could tell that I was not amused about it. We walked back to the girl at the ticket office just to see her being rude to other customers too. The manager was quite shocked about it. He told us that she’s his best employee and normally she’s very kind and friendly. The manager went over to ask what’s happening. The girl saw us with the manager and tears started to roll over her cheeks. Oops… That was not what I expected.

I instantly felt sorry for the girl. This was not my intention. Suddenly, things seemed to get more worse. My daughter shot me an ugly look and whispered to me that she warned me not to make scene. TEENAGERS! *sigh* While the girl sobbed heavily, she tried to say something. We couldn’t make out what she was babbling. When she’s calmed down a  bit, we finally understood what she tried to say. She explained to us that she just lost a close family member and that she’s very upset about it. And the emotions have clouded her mood to work.

All right, I did feel bad that I confronted her about her behaviour. I counted till ten and took a deep breath, then, when the girl was calmed down, I explained to her why I planned to file a complain against her. I told her that my daughter was excited about going a day out on a school day and that I was very looking forward to spend some quality time with my daughter. And that the way she treated us, I felt like she’s ruined our day.

The girl listened patiently to me and she was very reasonable. She nodded and said she understands why I was upset about her behaviour. She even apologised to us. I accepted her apology. I also told her that I’m sorry that she lost a close family member and that it’s okay to feel sad. But sometimes, we might want to think twice about how we act on our emotions. Because when we send out negative energy to other people, they will receive it and react on it too. And most of the time, that’s how misunderstandings happen. She nodded.

This incident reminded me of two important things in life; 1. assumptions are not always true and 2. always connect with people.

I saw a young girl acting grumpy and just assumed she didn’t want to work and early shift. I was wrong. My assumption was very wrong. I’m glad that I had a chance to talk to the girl. Maybe, connecting with her through the manager wasn’t the best move, I should’ve talked to her personally. But it still gave us the opportunity to explain ourselves. The best thing was, even though the start was a bit impetuous, at the end we’ve talked calmly and listened patiently to each other and cleared things out. Everything was fine after all. The manager even gave us free drinks and popcorn! So, my daughter, the teenager, who’s learned a lesson of life, was happy too!

I strongly believe if we all could just keep in mind that we must not always assume our assumptions are true and if we would ry to kindly connect with people we could all make this world a better place!

 

The feeling that you’re useless…FIGHT IT!

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”
~ Og Mandino

A few days back, while vacuuming the living room, I picked up the guitar of my daughter. I was tired of cleaning so I put down the vacuum cleaner and started to ping on the strings. Just for fun. I’ve always love the sound of a guitar and I will melt away at songs that are guided by acoustic guitar sounds. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to learn how to play it when I was younger. Now I’m compensating it by sending my daughter to guitar class. Luckily she likes it a lot and she’s doing really great.

So, I held the guitar that day and looked at the book with music notes. It’s a book for beginners, which my daughter left on the stand after practicing some old songs. The book lies proudly open, as if it intentionally shows me all its contents. It seems not too complicated so I decided to give it a shot. After a few attempts I almost want to give up. the joints in my fingers and my fingertips already started to complain after a few minutes. I feel them burning of pain caused by the pressing on the strings. My shoulders cramped and I couldn’t hit a decent music note. I thought about how well my daughter could play this instrument and I felt like a useless woman.

Okay.. now wait a minute! That’s totally not fair to think that way.

We all know the feeling when something doesn’t go the way as we’ve planned. And unfortunately, most of the time it works like that. But that doesn’t mean that we’re not capable of doing something right or making something to happen. It just means that you need more practice in what you’re trying to do. Perseverance is the key. That and a right mindset.

If you’re feeling bad because something didn’t go as planned. Then stop what you’re doing! Stop and take a deep breath. Let your mind flow away from what you’re doing and let it go for a moment. And then, think of something else. Think of something that you’ve done and that you succeeded in. Think of things that make you happy. For instance, think of that time that you’ve nailed a very complicated cake recipe. Or maybe you’ve once helped an old lady to cross a busy road. Or even think back at the time that you’ve passed you’re driving exam.

All those thing, no matter how small they seem to be, you made them happen. Those are your achievements! Maybe you forgot about them, but the people you shared that cake with, will always remember that cake of yours and admire your perseverance to make it. That old lady will always be grateful to you for your help and the fact that you steer your car so easily around these days, is because you once passed that exam!

So, remember, the next time you feel bad about a thing that doesn’t work out right away, don’t focus on the things that went wrong, but think of the things that make you strong. YOU can change your mind, YOU can CHOOSE on what to think. So, choose the positive matters, because those things can make you feel better and let you believe in yourself. And that is the most important part! Believe in what you can do. Be determined to succeed!

As for the things that did not succeed today, there is always a tomorrow!

i kept practicing on the guitar and after a few days I can now finally complete playing a whole song. Check it out in my latest Youtube video.

 

Enjoying the journey

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
~ Lao Tzu

It’s been more than a month since I’ve attended the London Screenwriter’s Festival. Time really does go by too fast.

I have enjoyed every bit of this wonderful event! Starting from the opening speech till the last drinks with fellow writers at the Globe, a lovely pub. I’ve met a lot of new friends, fellow voyagers on the writer’s journey. I learned a lot from well-known speakers; heroes of every screenwriter. Above all, it provided me exactly what I was looking for: acknowledgment. Fellow writers who treat me as writer too.

A few years back when I finally had the courage to take a step onto the writer’s journey, I was pumped with energy. It felt good! It still feels good. Like I’ve finally found the right path. I started with a blank screen and now I can call myself the writer of a feature screenplay and several short scripts.

But as the journey advances I started to feel lonely too due to the lack of fellow travellers who understand what I’m doing and what I stand for. I have no one in my surroundings with whom I can share my struggles and discuss about writing. It’s like being lost in the ocean holding just a raft. While I was trying to keep my head above water, I started to lose my motivation. Slowly procrastination became a habit.

Fortunately, somewhere in the ocean there is an island called LSF. And I started to swim to it. When I’ve reached it, I found out that it is a very big island. I felt a bit tense stepping onto this island for the first time. But tense faded away immediately when a fellow writer reached out to me. And from that moment on I’m reassured that this is a safe haven for writers!

Everyone is welcome at LSF! Whether you’re a novice writer or a seasoned master of the craft, LSF greets everybody with a warm embrace. Complete strangers would make contact with each other and it doesn’t feel strange, because we all have one thing in common: the passion for writing. It’s like one big family and I am grateful to have found this family.

Although I started this journey many years ago, it is not until now that I finally feel to have leapt one big step forward. With so many fellow travellers around to share my adventures with this trip can only get better and better! And I can safely explore the ocean without feeling lonely again!

You too can be part of this big family! LSF is offering an early bird ticket now. Go to the website HERE and grab this deal!

Downton Abbey, reviver of my writing spirit

“To persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage in a man.”
~ Euripedes

In the past few months I’ve finished and rewritten my first screenplay. I’ve even sent it out to some screenwriting contests. I was very proud and satisfied and It gave me strength to carry on.

The idea for my first story came to me rather easily and I do strongly believe in this story. But now that it is finished I felt myself falling into a dark hole. I have another story in mind but it doesn’t feel as strong as the first one. So, I started to doubt. I doubt myself, I doubt my capabilities, I doubt my skills.

While I was self pitying I thought I might as well watch some TV series or movies to cheer myself up (and for research of course!). As I was curious why Downton Abbey was so highly recommended (and because of the wonderful Dame Maggie Smith) I started to watch it on Netflix. After the first episode I was already hooked.

It was not a very good idea, starting to watch it; I finished watching four seasons in three days! After that my mind could only think of Downton Abbey! And every character flows in my mind all day long. I think about the fate and fortune of all characters. The good ones and the ill-minded ones. That doesn’t happen often when I watch a movie of series. I did not only enjoy the serie, I actually learned a great deal from it!

Every scene of every episode is so well constructed. Every bit of it contains intrigue, suspense, conflict and mysterious twists that moves the story forward and hook the audience. Every character is so well built that makes the audience curious about all their fates. From the earl to the footmen, from the ladies to the kitchen maids. Every story line is just so fabulously written. Watching the serie is almost like you’re a part of it yourself!

It could discourage a novice writer like me. Because watching such a masterpiece can make a novice writer, who struggles with story construction and writing, feel very small. But the odd thing is, I don’t feel that way! Downton Abbey was a wonderful gift to me (or rather, a subscription on Netflix was a wonderful gift I gave myself). It gave me courage to persevere writing. Julian Fellowes has shown me the tricks of how a good story should be and what good scenes need in order to push the story forward. He gave me strength to keep on constructing stories. And I just hope that one day I will have such a masterpiece of my own that people will love to watch.